Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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