Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize