tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
