I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
