the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
