You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize