we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
