i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
