I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
