I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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