we're blogging at a bar
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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