How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
