i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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