You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
