last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
