It's like God shit irony all over that family
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
