what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
