My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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