McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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