I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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