don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize