I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
