hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
