Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize