They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
