; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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