What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
nutella sex= disaster
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And then my night got REAL pukey
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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