I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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