Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
