Don't you send me to vm
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
