do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
