the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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