This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
