Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
