the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i've created a new STD.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There are leaves in my underwear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
