I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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