I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
