Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize