I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
