There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize