just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
