she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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