Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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