she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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