Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
