My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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