guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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