508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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