I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
