Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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