Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
