Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
