just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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