I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
