So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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