WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
