The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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