When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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