Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and she was petting her beer can
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
