you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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