can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
