she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
