so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
