i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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