I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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