Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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